Katie Lynn (cassian) wrote,
Katie Lynn

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my christmas dream

it seems like i've been waiting forever for mom and dad to wake up, so i can finally open my presents. every year it gets harder to wait, but this one's the hardest. there's never anything good to do on a christmas morning, so i just, get up, walk around, sit again, and fidget. it seems to slip my mind thought when i can actually see them laying there in bed. i get hungry, but when i go to get a bowl of cereal, i seem them there, all laid out in front of me under the tree, just out of my reach. i can't touch them till my parents are up, but i want them so bad. i have to wait, for i cannot wake them myself. my friends are already calling me, telling me what they got for christmas, jessica got that new barbie. but i should be the one. it should be me who got has their toy they always wanted. the snow is falling, but i am at a standstill. i can't seem to move now, and i start crying because i know my predicament must be because of all those times i fought with my brothers or didn't clean my room. i just thought they were late sleepers, but mom would be up by now if had been a better kid...

it was one of those dreams that sticks with you even in the waking hours, leaving you feeling odd for the day. its the first time in a long time i have been able to remember my whole dream, long enough to still write about it. i usually just dream about work related things, but every now and then a weird one slips in. i can't shake the feeling though. writing about it feels better though.

my mom and don left today back for new jersey, and i miss her already, and that probably is what is mostly bumming me out moreso than my dream. i didn't get to see her much while she was out, even though she stayed at my house. i hope she moves back here someday. i am at the dawn of my future, and my mom won't be here to experience it with me. her family needs her out there right now much more than we need her here, but i really really do miss her a lot.

i also found out today that one of my favorite people who i love and respect, does drugs. i am so disappointed, in this new and with her. is it wrong of me to be disappointed in someone for that? i don't think it changes my opinion of her, but it makes me sad to find it out.
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You can be said a dissapointed it is a normal thing it is not wrong of you to be, just pray that she has the strangth to STOP and just have faith that she can do it because when you have faith it makes that person stronger because you believe in them!!! Keep the faith and believe with all your heart and you will make a differance (thats pretty much all you can do) Because you can't do it for her.... AND she needs some one to believe in her.... I will pray and have faith that she can Stop doing drugs.. In the end everything will be fine because GOD is always by your side and will never give up on you !!!!
angel, you are truly awesome. i was disappointed and i just thought to leave it at that and accept it, because i didn't think anything i did mattered, but i can do something. i can pray for her. it may not change her, but it will change me and how i feel about the situation. thanks for the uplift :)
Yeah It will make you feel alot better and it will change because i believe in it and i will not ever give up because thats what GOD wants us to do!!! Thank you, I think that your cool I also think that every one needs to be reminded about things.. It is always Good to have your feelings because that is a part of you and it makes you feel better so have your feelings don't hold back how you feel about something because you could make a diffrence by whay you say and may even change someones perspective!!!!
It's dissapointing. You want everybody to do good for themselves and it just sucks when you here that they're doing something that self distructive. I think that you can only be disapointed if you care. So its definately o.k. to be disapointed. You have to get over it though, dwelling on stuff like that is never good for you. You just have to not look down on them or condemn them for it. Unconditional love, That's my motto.
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